Yesterday was stressful, rushed, and chaotic. I hadn't slept well the night before and I was so exhausted by the end of the day. Today was much more calm, quiet, and slow moving. Still, I feel tense and out of sorts. It seems that nothing is going as it should. Something seems to be blocking any progress of even the smallest kind. The computer is freezing up, plans are being rearranged, my car is hitting every pothole, and even my cat won't curl up next to me.
In the quiet, I hear the heater going off and on. I hear the drip, drip, dripping of the icicles melting off of the roof. I look around at the clutter that I am too unmotivated to clear. I am getting work done but it seems like just barely. The sky is dark with clouds about to snow again. The piles of snow are so high that even when it is warm (47 degrees F) they can't melt fast enough. They seem like ghosts just lingering and vexing. I would love to lie on a blanket on a hillside right now, soak up the sun and fresh air, and feel the expanse of the universe and of time and possibility.
The photo is from a San Juan River trip that I took with my daughter's class a few years back. It is a beautiful area in Utah.
Your writing style/this post really expresses both what's going on in your stressing out process..and also that it is possible to think about other possibilities! Definitely a good model for where my head is at in this moment! Love the photo of Utah..that helps a bit, too!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ginny, that is such a kind thing to say and so nice to get encouraging comments like that!
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