Little by little I am ticking away at all the responsibilities I have. If I try to do a million things (or even ten things) at once, I feel like I am drowning, so I just take it slowly and get it done slowly, but I eventually get most of it done. Something about my psyche doesn't want me to take on and achieve huge things. I can succeed at small things or big things stretched out over time, but I would usually rather quit than dive into a huge challenge wondering if I will make it out with my ego in tact.
Maybe that is why I am a big picture girl. I remember one time when I was a teen ager. I was telling my younger sister about all the plans I had for my future. They were very grand and she said I would never do all those things because I was not ambitious and didn't follow through. Part of me thought she was right. But, years later after ups and downs and round and rounds in my life path, I realized that amid all the days and years, I had actually accomplished everything that I had said I would.
Why do I take indirect, less splashy routes? I don't know. Is it less efficient? I don't know. But, I have come to accept and live by a couple of cliches: slow and steady wins the race, and I yam what I yam. It is good to live in the present but I have to be careful not to be impatient or narrow focused. Hope, faith, big picture - whatever I call it, I have to keep believing that my life is an amazing story with a solid plot line, amazing details and a good moral.
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