Big Love

So, I went to Phoenix over the week-end. We went as a family just to get out of town since we didn't go anywhere over Christmas. We went to the art gallery and saw some great art and a fabulous Geoffrey Beene exhibit. We ate in some fun cafes and yes, we did a little shopping.

I wanted a navy and white striped shirt like a French fisherman's shirt. Mira suggested that we think of things we might need for our European trip this summer which I thought was great forethought on her part. I don't need much since I am wearing the same four skirts. I guess it will make for light packing. I did get a perfect black rain parka on sale. It will be great for travel and it is long with a cinched waist so it will look stylish in the city.

Lately, since my one Michelle skirt is too summery, I have been daydreaming about a red corduroy skirt that I saw when we were in Phoenix last time in October. I couldn't remember what store I had seen it at and I really didn't know exactly what it looked like because at the time, I turned my nose up at it and said "I don't need any clothes. I have my 4skirts already."

But I have been wanting a solid color to wear. I have been regretting not having a bright solid in my skirt lineup. I was wishing that I had bought it to just put away for next year. So when I found the fisherman shirt at H&M I thought a red skirt would be so perfect for the summer. Then I went to look for a size for my daughter in the clearance section and hanging there was one last red cord skirt! on clearance! what size? my size! It fit perfectly and I got it. I felt it was fate and I thought I would put it away for next year.

I am a huge fan of the show Big Love. I love the drama but mostly the clever way that the writers make the issues, problems, lessons, and dreams of these social outcasts the same as those of just about anyone. It is a show about outsiders, about being true to your beliefs, about admitting faults and flaws, about ego, ambition, prejudice, relationships, family, and love.

I don't condone polygamy and I think there are many holes and pitfalls in the Mormon religion. But, I have to say, on an ideal level, there are some good things about their beliefs. In some ways, it is not that unlike the ideas of the hippies in the communes of the '60s. Yes, in some ways it is quite different. Anyway, I like the idea of a love that is so big that it grows with more people instead of diminishing. It is like the Buddhist quote about a candle whose flame is not diminished no matter how many other candles it lights.

In my own humorous and trivial way, I have given my skirts identities and developed a relationship with them. So, when I was puzzling over whether or not to wear this red skirt, I thought of the plot line in Big Love when Bill and his wives are trying to decide if they should take on a new wife. It is a conflict of values, morals, integrity and logistics. But it is also exciting, tender, and sincere.

I want to stick to my 4skirt plan. I don't want to quit. But I also see that I need some new blood in the mix. Does adding a new skirt mean that the whole thing is a failure? Is it better to quit out of a rigid sense of rules? No. I decided that I am adding a fifth wife - I mean skirt. I will make good use of it. I will be able to give a rest to all of the other ones. I will have an improved outlook on life because of the red energy of the skirt. I may even retire one of the other ones.

When I set out to do this experiment, I didn't know what would happen. When the year is over, I will look back and assess the ups and downs, the successes and failures, the lessons and the triviality. One thing I know is that you can't know everything and sometimes you have to go with your heart.